The only muse that hasn't jumped off a cliff yet.

Most of my muses die a horrible death, such as my writing muse, my blogging muse, my deviantart muse, etc. But there is one that hasn't, and won't EVER do that. He's not the type.

Now, the ones mentioned above, writing/blogging/devA, are just figments of my imagination. The last one though... My music muse, is a person. A person I recently mentioned in another of my silly posts that I hypnotize you guys into reading (If you haven't read that, I'd appreciate it if you would.) This guy, Noah *Girly sigh* is sort of a crush, sort of just one of those people you admire for their skill.

I started playing when I was in fifth grade. The first time I heard Noah was in fifth grade at the Fall Cluster Concert. He was there with the advanced orchestra from the junior high I was considering going to. No, it wasn't a solo, but he was first chair, and my huge ego and I were only paying attention to the cellos. He looked like he didn't even have to think, it just came to him and he didn't have to watch what he was doing. Everything was just... Right. Well at the time, I just wanted to listen, not learn. I hated playing the cello and was ready to give it up, but I got into it by the end of the year and became a total stage whore. I looooved the applause and the emotions an orchestra could could bring out in people. It is here that I will admit, Faure's Elegie makes me cry... And the Elgar concerto... Makes me sob. Hehe... Anyway, at the end of fifth grade, I had decided I wanted to go to that school that he went to for two reasons: The science program, and the music program. The first day, I learned his name. Noah Littlejohn, a name that would make me giggle for various reasons for the rest of forever. Throughout 6th grade, we stalked him. Yes, full on stalked. We (A cellist friend and I) knew his schedule, his phone #, his address, his private teacher's name, and even his parents' license plates number. Crazy? Yes. Crossing the line? Oh yeah. A crime meant only to entertain us? In Taylors case, yes. In my case, no. I wanted to know everything so I could be what he was. What was he, you ask? First chair cellist of the advanced orchestra, UIL recognized soloist, GSW recognized soloist, he was even wanted by the local symphony later on.

So one afternoon, after I was through stalking Noah, I went to talk to my orchestra director. I asked her casually for some contact information for "that first chair cellist guy's teacher" (Though I knew his name ;P) She gave it to me, doubting that I was good enough, so I called this lady, Eleonora Lopez, and asked for an "audition" time. She told me to stop by Friday, so I did. The first thing I said was something about how I came to her because of Noah, and wanted to be him basically. So, I played Minuet ummm #3 I think... She said I had tons of potential so we scheduled my lessons... And um yeah. I've still not defeated my mental problems that are stopping me from being Noah, but that's what Mrs. Lopez is for.

When I was in 7th grade, he was a freshman... Gone... My muse disappeared. I had to find another form of inspiration. I tried to channel competitive-ness into inspiration, but I am NOT agressively comeptitive like the first chair girl was, so I was third chair all year. At the end of the year, I decided to go to orchestra camp at a university not far from where I live. That's where I saw him again, and was inspired to continue on, whether he was around or not.

Eight grade was the year I lost orchestra completely, but seing Noah again at various music competitions 100 miles from here inspired me once again, but this time I felt a bit more than just inspiration. He was... My silly little crush for a while, but just recently, I decided that it is more than just a silly little crush. It is a full on, ALMOST head over heels crush. I knew that when I heard him practicing/ performing the Elgar cello concerto at camp. From the day I heard him practicing at camp, I spent every waking minute thinking 'How can I change my route so I run into him?' and 'What will it take for me to run into him whilst alone so we might carry on a converstion?' and 'I wonder how I am supposed to stop this stupid blushing and stupid stupid high sqeaky 'OMG IT'S NOAH' voice!!!'

So yes... Noah Littlejohn is my muse and my crush. Someone with that much talent is hard not to admire... So I don't try to hide my admiration anymore... Just ask him. I stutter every time he says hello.